69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Randomize