Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
