literally had 100 drinks last night.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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