UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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