Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
