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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.

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• (850): View more from Florida

  Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.

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• (336): View more from North Carolina

  I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."

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• (519): View more from Ontario

  Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous

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• (503): View more from Oregon

  I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.

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• (201): View more from New Jersey

  for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love

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• (417): View more from Missouri

  I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.

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• (334): View more from Alabama

  Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?

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• (218): View more from Minnesota

  Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.

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• (989): View more from Michigan

  Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  Where's your car?

  (989): View more from Michigan

  The girl I brought home apparently stole it

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• (325): View more from Texas

  I put a zucchini in my pussy for you

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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.

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• (609): View more from New Jersey

  We need to know if his feet match his cock.

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• (330): View more from Ohio

  lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes

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