pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
