Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I got inside last night via doggy door
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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