Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
