i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
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