Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Randomize