Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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