Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
