Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
