drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Randomize
