I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
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