we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Shame - the story of my life.
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