i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Randomize
