idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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