HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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