That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Randomize
