i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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