It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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