I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
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