By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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