You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Randomize
