she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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