I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
