Need sex. Gaining weight.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Randomize
