so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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