I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
