This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
