Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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