hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
