We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
