Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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