i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize
