Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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