Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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