you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
