The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
