I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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