I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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