Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize