sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
We need to rekindle our bromance
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Randomize
