I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
