if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
