she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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