No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Randomize