Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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