Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize
