I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize