Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
