can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
