Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Randomize
