I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
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