He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
