we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize