Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Randomize