when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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