I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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