I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
My feet surprised me
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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