Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
As shirtless as possible
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Randomize
