Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Randomize
