I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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