i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
