he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
