what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
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