So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
