So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
