Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Randomize
