if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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