my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
