just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I didn't notice because vodka
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Pants are for mortals
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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