Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
