Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Randomize
